Why Do We Care So Much About Appearances?: Part 2

So, last time I talked about why we care so much about our physical appearances...

Today I wanna talk about why we care so much about our positional appearances.

The questions that run through our head are not usually, "Am I a good person?"...or "Am I strong?"..."Am I smart?" ..."Am I beautiful?"..."Do I have it all together?"...

No,...we can very quickly answer those questions ourselves... The questions that we constantly ask ourselves are... "Do I look like a good person?" ... "Do I look strong?"... "Do I look smart to other people?"... "Do I look beautiful compared to other people?"... "Do I look like I have it all together?"...etc... etc...

We look at ourselves two ways... who we know we are...and who we want to be.  And instead of being who we are (a person who is not perfect and has some things to work on)...we PRETEND that we are that person we want to be.  We pretend that we are "good"...we pretend that we are stronger than we are,...we pretend that we are smarter than we are... all because we want others to think that we are better than we really are.

Christians are absolute experts at doing this... Every Sunday we are tempted with the opportunity to look more righteous than we really are to our church peers.  We dress nice,...we come with our "Praises and Prayer Requests" which sometimes glorify ourselves more than they glorify God.  We give Godly advice (that we ourselves never listen to), we point fingers at other peoples' sins and yet never give a full confession of our own.  We develop superficial friendships where we can rejoice in all the good we have done, yet we leave our personal home lives out of it.  Cuz people don't need to know all of that.  Accountability should only go so far as what we allow ourselves to tell each other... not the things we NEED accountability for.  We don't want people to know the crap that goes on in our homes,...in our workplace, and much less in our hearts.

Just an example from my own life... I was getting ready for church about a month ago,...got my nice jeans on, my nice shoes on, my nice v-neck on... and then I thought to myself...  

"Should I bring a bible?"

Obviously I should bring a bible to church... but I usually use my phone,... just cuz I'm usually carrying around a guitar or drum stuff,...and its just easier to use my Bible App.  But I don't think I was taking anything with me this Sunday,...so I asked myself, "Should I bring my (physical) bible?" ...And you know what my answer was?  ...  YES ...  Which would have been a good choice had I not had this sinful thought which followed... "I'll bring my bible because it will look better."  I'm ashamed to say this... but, yeah,... that was the reason I carried my bible into the car with me...I thought it would make me look better... it would make me look more righteous than I am, more Godly of a man, and an overall better Christian.  I thought about my reasoning as I drove and realized how wrong I was to think that,...so I purposefully left my bible in the car because I didn't want to be tempted to think that as I walked around church.

How often do we do that!?  How much more often are we tempted to do that?  All the way from bringing a bible to church to wearing a Christian T-Shirt, to doing things like listening to sermons and doing bible studies... even washing your car?  Do you wear a Christian Shirt because you want to look like a better Christian?  Do you listen to sermons and do bible studies just to say you did it... another check on the list of your "Good Christian" Resume'?

And let me close in on this example,... Do you wash your car because it needs to be cleaned,...or do you wash it because you want to look better in it?  I close in on this because...Well, I just washed my car...and let me tell you, it REALLY needed to be washed!...But it is also a good example of how we are with our own lives.  Do we clean up our lives,...repenting of sins and doing good deeds because that's what we are called to do as believers and followers of Christ?...Or do we clean up our lives, doing good deeds, listening to sermons, doing bible studies, saying the right words, praying the right prayers... all because you just wanna appear to be a better person than you are?  

And let me end on this... it is not bad to do bible studies or listen to sermons or washing your cars or dressing up well for church,...and especially bringing a physical bible to church with you...

Some of our families don't pray together as much as we should... some of us need to be listening to sermons and doing bible studies... Some people need to bring a bible PERIOD to church ...physical or an app... And some people need open up about their personal lives to allow for WAY MORE accountability than they have now...t

he accountability they need. 

The question is,...why do you do what you do... to glorify God, or to glorify yourself?

   

Why Do We Care So Much About Appearances?: Part 1

So here's a serious question that I myself struggle with a heck of a lot more than I should... Why do we care so much about appearances?  Why do we care how we look?  Why do we care what other people think of us?  Why do we care how other people react to us (And why do we think appearances play a part in that?)  This is a very serious question that gets to a very serious heart matter...Are you comfortable with who you are and does your appearance change who you are and make you a better person?

There was a baby shower at my house a week or so ago,...and we have a pool, so some people went in the pool.  I myself have never been much of a pool person, nor a beach person for that matter, because I never liked being exposed so that other people could see me without a shirt.  I always felt like I wasn't skinny enough to take my shirt off... I always felt like I wasn't good looking enough to take my shirt off.  I didn't want people to see my "fatness," or my lack of muscle,... because there were people around me that looked WAY better than me... they were skinnier, more muscular, and (more importantly) more confident.  And the truth is, I still feel that way today.  Anyways, at this baby shower, there was a father with his young daughter in the pool,...and the father was a pretty big guy, had a little bit of moob action goin on... and he just took his shirt off like nothing and ran into the pool.  Just like that.  Now, I workout, I run, I do my best to try and eat healthy, and I CANNOT DO THAT... I can't just take off my shirt and run into the pool without feeling insecure about other people seeing me.  I saw him just confidently run into the pool, probably without a thought about what others might think of how he looked,...and I honestly was a little jealous.  I wanted that confidence.  I want that confidence.  And yet, I don't have it because I care too much about my appearance.  And I care too much about what others think of my appearance.

And guess what, I'm not the only one... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

This doesn't just affect us in the areas of what we do either, but it affects us in how we feel too.  If I "feel fat"... you can believe that I am going to have a horrible day.  If I didn't work out when I planned to, you better believe I'm gonna be adamant about putting in extra reps or extra sets later on in the day or week to make up for it because I HATE feeling fat, and I HATE feeling like I'm losing muscle.  Part of it is that I don't like losing what I've worked so hard to gain,...but if I'm honest with myself, a big part of it is that I feel like I'm "less than" if I don't keep it up.  Like I'm not as good of a person.  As if me being weaker or fatter makes me a different person.  This is obviously not the case, but I think we subconsciously think that... We don't want to stop doing the things that make us look better because in the back of our minds, we think they make us better people.  But they don't.  They may be great assets to us, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy and strong, but that does not make us a better person...and focusing on them too much can actually make us a worse person.

Think about it... If you really think that you "looking better" makes you a better person... what do you think of other people who are weaker than you or not as healthy as you?  Do you hold them to the same standards?  I for one don't, and if you don't, then why do we hold those standards for ourselves? 

BECAUSE IN OUR NATURE WE ARE COMPETITIVE!!!  And WE LOVE to compare.  Sure, no one is going to say anything to anyone else about their health or weight,...that is their decision and their own conviction... but in our minds, we compare ourselves to them.  I don't even think about it sometimes and I do it... I'll look at my friends and think "They have more muscle than me,... they are skinnier than me,... they have better clothes than me... they are less awkward in a conversation than me" ... And that's just as a guy,... And the temptation arises to think that they are "better" than us because of these observations...

The truth is that God made us all in His image,...and we are equally in His image, all given a purpose and story in His plan which we call life.  All given a heart and mind and body to feel and think and do.  No one is a "better" person simply because of their appearance.  You can be an ugly person inside and be the healthiest and strongest person on the outside.  And you can be the fluffiest and weakest person on the outside and be the most kindest and gracious person on the inside.  You physical appearance can be an asset, and it can be useful in life,... but I don't think it should ever be a measurement on how we value ourselves or other people.  

Like I said, I struggle with this because a lot of value on my physical appearance when I know I shouldn't.  And I let that affect the way I value myself as a person.  

Join me in trying to fight against that temptation, and to try to see ourselves the way God sees us,...as His own marvelous works of creation, fearfully and wonderfully made.  

(In my next blog post, I'm gonna talk about the kind of appearance that is affected by not our physical looks, but our good deeds)